2011, the best year of our lives.

You know how some of us say "it was the best ______ ever". Fill in the blanks. Belinda and I usually fill in the blank with some type of food, usually ice cream. I think this also applies to years. I have to say my life has been so blessed that usually on the last few days of the year I look back and say "this year was the best one ever".

For us, 2011 was the year when we became parents. This has been the most joyous, nerve-wracking, trying, tiring, gratifying and fulfilling experience of our lives (and she's not even one year old). I am grateful for many things, but especially for our little Lucia.

As we look back we have been blessed in so many ways it is hard to summarize here, plus I already talked about that in my previous Thanksgiving post.

Lucia turned 8 months last week. She got the two front teeth my American friends sing about every Christmas :). She has been developing so many new motor and mental skills it is hard to keep track of them every day. Belinda has been doing an amazing job as a mom, housekeeper, milk lady, rocking champion, playmate, cook, nutritionist, nurse and baby fashionista. I have asked her if she misses her days working at the hospital and she always replies "are you kidding? No!". She misses her co-workers but definitely prefers the aroma of a fresh poopy diaper to some of the patients' well-aged scents she had to put up with every now and then at the hospital. :)




Speaking of diapers I have to point out the obvious, but something I am very grateful for. During the first few months, when their poop is runny and gets EVERYWHERE, at least it doesn't stink. Now that it is starting to stink (a lot), at least it is usually contained in one little pile and we don't have to deal with diaper explosions the way we did initially. So I guess it is one more of the many tradeoffs we experience as Lucia continues to grow. Here here for stinky AND solid!

Lucia has been sleeping longer and longer every day. Last night she slept for 11 hours straight (8pm to 7am) and she just woke up from a 2-hour nap. This girl is probably going through a growth spurt and mommy and daddy are enjoying every minute of it!

Glenda (Belinda's mom) got a job in Portland and finally moved over on December 6th, becoming officially 100% of the family we have in town. It is so nice to have her living a few blocks away from us. On Monday Belinda and I went to the movies for the first time since Lucia was born. Bear in mind that we used to go to the movies at least once every two weeks so this was a very special date for us.













Everyone told us that the best Christmas present for the baby is the wrapping paper and we confirmed it a few days ago when we opened presents. Lucia was in wrapping paper heaven for a few hours.  Here's a little video we made in case you haven't already seen it on our facebook accounts.

Thanks GIVING

One of my favorite American traditions is Thanksgiving. This was my 12th Thanksgiving since I moved to the US and it was the first one as a family of three. Belinda and I have no idea how to cook a Turkey, yams, pumpkin pie or any of the other delicious and traditional American Thanksgiving dishes. But we are experts at eating and enjoying them in the company of good friends (thanks to the Spains for adopting us again this year into their family Thanksgiving).


As the day went through I kept thinking how grateful I am for all the blessings in my life. It is so easy to get distracted from the essential and complain about the superficial. The last time we were at the hospital was for the most joyous reason: to welcome Lucia to this world. That was the only time we have been at the hospital in the US. The last time I was at the hospital for a family issue was in 2000 when my mom had two strokes and today she is still with us more alive than ever and enjoying her granddaughter.

I have a job. One in ten Americans don't have one. One in four Southafricans don't have one either. We have a warm and dry place where to spend the night. We have never worried about having enough money to buy food. We buy new clothes. We have a car and money to buy gas. We can visit family when we can take time off work. So many things we take for granted. So many things we truly believe we are entitled to. But in reality we don't deserve any of it. They are all blessings and I am thankful for each one of them.

Last week Belinda chatted with someone (who will remain anonymous) who was going to spend Thanksgiving alone. When asked why he wasn't visiting family he said he just didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to go. This person had not seen his family in 6 years. They live 8 hours away by bus but he has struggled for a while and without a job or money couldn't afford the luxury of visiting his loved ones. We couldn't see our families this Thanksgiving either but that's because they live in a different country and we couldn't take the time off work to travel. We decided to thank our Lord for being so good to us and share with this person by buying him a bus ticket to see his family.

We have done these type of things in the past, usually from Belinda's initiative. We never share this with anyone because we don't need the recognition and because it is not the 'proper thing to do'. Well, this time is different. While we certainly don't need the recognition, this world needs more people like Belinda. I am sure we are not alone and that most of you out there in cyberspace reading this blog have done similar things for people in need and I want to thank you too. I am tired of hearing sad news every day and I would love to hear more of these type of stories so  even if it's not considered polite to talk about the good things we do I will continue doing this every chance I have. Maybe it will help brighten your day a little bit as it sure does brighten mine.

I am thankful for every material thing we have but I am even more thankful for having a wife that keeps my feet down to the ground and reminds me how blessed we are and how we can share the little we have with other people.

I really hope we are good parents to Lucia and that she grows to have the same amazing and giving heart that her mom has.

Fall...ing in love

Ok, if you have endured reading some of my previous posts you pretty much know I will eventually state how much I love my daughter. Well, this will not be an exception.
I love my daughter. Lucia has exceeded all our expectations on how much love we can have for anyone. And to think that our Heavenly Father loves us even more than that is just mind-boggling.

Anyway, we are having the time of our lives with Lucia. She's changing so much so fast that sometimes we would like to press the pause button just so we get to enjoy every little moment with her. For example, Belinda and I have been waiting for Lucia to turn on her own. Last week she finally did it. And I missed it! Belinda left Lucia laying on her back on her playing mat right next to me. I happened to be checking my email. Two minutes later Belinda walks into the room and asks me "why did you put her on her belly?" After seeing my clueless face we both realized Lucia had just turned on her own for the first time and no one saw it. Of course she's turning on her own all the time now and she just started showing some interest in crawling so we will be watching for that next big step in her life.

My parents are visiting us for a couple of weeks and needless to say they are in 7th heaven with their little granddaughter. She's so much more alert and socially active than the last time they saw her (2 months ago) that they are now able to enjoy her even more. Lucia loves her grandpa. We don't know why but every time he walks into the room her eyes light up and she gives a huge smile.

My mom plays the piano with her every morning and Lucia loves it. There is something about music and sounds that has always been interesting to her. If she's getting fuzzy I usually take out my guitar and start playing for her and she usually calms down and just watches me play for a while. I really hope she shows interest in music when she's older. If she enjoys it half as much as I do, she will have a blast.

The infamous earrings. So, as some of you know or may have noticed we had Lucia's ears pierced while we were in Mexico this summer. Pierced ears in baby girls are a common practice in Mexico. In fact, it is usually an item on the hospital checklist if you want her ears pierced before you all leave the hospital to go home.  Anyway, we came back from Mexico and for the first 2 months she wore her earrings without a glitch. Until last week. Belinda was feeding her and we thing one of her earrings got caught in the blanket and when Belinda pulled her up, the earring made her ear bleed a tiny bit. Of course we were so upset and felt so guilty that we even considered just taking the earrings out permanently. If my parents hadn't been here with us we would have probably done just that. However, my parents helped calm us down and we put a new pair on that should have fewer chances of getting caught on anything. We'll see how it goes but for now my baby is still wearing the distinct Mexican heritage of earrings. And I must admit that I love how she looks with them.

It is November 6th and the sun is shining in Portland, which means I should get in the shower and get out of the house quickly to enjoy the dry weather treat. We'll probably take my parents out for a drive at the Columbia Gorge to enjoy the fall leaves scenery.

Oh, and by the way, the picture above with the green stuff on Lucia's face was her first experience eating avocado. Certainly not a good one. Maybe next time we'll make the avocado into guacamole and see how that goes!

My dear sweet little angel

Words cannot even begin to describe how much we love you. You have brought more joy into our lives than we could have eve imagined. Your mommy and I had been talking and dreaming about you for many years and today my little girl, you are literally a dream come true.

We are so blessed that we get to spend the rest of our lives together. Today, as you turn 6 months we look back at how our lives have changed and we cannot imagine life any other way. It has been a bumpy ride at times, especially as we learn how to be parents. We have made every effort to be the parents that you deserve and with time and a little patience we will eventually get there.

I am about to spend three days away from you. I started missing you and your mommy the minute I walked out the front door this morning to go to work. You and your mommy complete me and inspire me to become a better man every day.

You know, you are one lucky little girl. You got the best mommy anyone could ever wish for. I fell in love with her almost 10 years ago and I can tell you she's the most loving person you will ever meet. She's smart, compassionate, patient and she's very pretty, just like you. She studied really hard for many years to get her dream job. Now she decided to put her career on hold for a while to spend time with you at home and care for you and me. We are just that special to her. I don't have to tell you more about her, you will realize in time what am I talking about.  

It is getting late and I have been traveling all day for work. I should probably go to bed soon.In the meantime, let me tell you happy half-birthday my little Lucia. You are truly a blessing in our lives and we cannot thank the Lord enough for allowing us to take care of you, His daughter.

Grow up strong my love, just not too fast

Again, I'm probably stating the obvious but bear with me. After all, this is the first time I experience these new feelings as a dad. For the past 23 weeks we have been hearing from everyone (friends, family, strangers at the grocery store, literally EVERYONE) to enjoy our baby because "... they grow too fast".

Today I started feeling exactly what everyone had warned us about all this time. Our little baby is growing up too fast. A little over 23 weeks ago she took her first breath of fresh air. Today she ate her first solid food. There's no going back, and I am now a little worried we will miss some of these amazing stages.

On the other hand, I think of my parents and their generation that didn't have digital cameras, smartphones, internet or skype. They managed to record a few memories of us in polaroids and 8mm film. We grew old and they probably felt the same way I am feeling today. I am so happy for modern technology that allows us to take thousands of pictures of our lives and document/share it with our loved ones even if they are literally on the other side of the planet.

So this evening as I finish writing this blog, I will be able to share with Lucia's grandparents, aunts, uncles and even her great-grandmother her first experience eating solids. My baby girl is growing up and I am looking forward to enjoying a lifetime with her. She is part of our family now and it is now three of us that will continue making memories for the years to come.

Glenda (Belinda's mom) came to visit us for a few days and we are thrilled that she's here. She baby sat for us on Friday and Belinda and I were able to go on our second date since Lucia was born. We are praying really hard for her to be able to move to Portland and be closer to us. We miss our family and having her around will be a huge change in our lives.




I cannot wait for Lucia to wake up in the morning so that I can hold her and squeeze her like I do every day. For now, I will take a moment to remember the best 23 weeks of my life and to thank our Heavenly Father for giving us the privilege of choosing us to be Lucia's parents. 

My new best friend

 You know how people sometimes say they were absolutely in love with their baby from the time he or she was inside the womb? I'm pretty sure that's true for some people. For us, we were in love with the idea of having a baby and we were getting ready to love this baby with all our hearts. But it takes time. I would say the first few weeks is instinct what kicks in. As with all relationships, mine with Lucia has grown every single day. I would say the difference is that my love for her grows exponentially every single day. Don't get me wrong, she's my daughter and I would have died for her from the minute she was born. It's just that the love I feel for her today is different than the one I felt yesterday and the one I felt 4 months ago.

I am blessed to be married to the best woman in the world who happens to be my best friend. But not even Belinda gets as excited to see me as Lucia does every morning when she's awake and I peek into her bassinet. It's amazing to know you're so special to someone. The other day I was sound asleep, I was about 5:30am and I started feeling something moving on the bed right beside me. Belinda brought Lucia to feed in bed and when she was done, she decided to lay there and wait for one of us to chat with her. Well, I slowly opened my eyes and as soon as she saw I was looking at her you should have seen her smile and heard her giggles. It made my day. I didn't want to get out of bed, I just wanted to stay there and chat with her all day. That lasted about 15 minutes before she realized she was still hungry and demanded Mommy's attention and my 15 minutes of fame were gone...

I have been talking to her exclusively in Spanish. I am not sure if she registers the sounds or not, but it looks like she knows when I'm talking to her (since I do it in Spanish) versus when I'm talking in English to Belinda. I have been signing and playing my guitar to her and she seems to enjoy it. She also seems to get excited every time I put some music on and pick her up to dance with me. I may have father's pride symptoms but I do think Lucia and I are starting to bond and I can say without a doubt that I now have a new best friend in her.

Belinda as always continues to be my hero. Waking up at night to feed her and taking care of her all day long every single day must be exhausting. Yet when I come home from work she's always happy to see me and welcomes me by signing to Lucia "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" It's the best welcome anyone could get. Honey, I wish I could find a way to show you just how much I love you and how grateful I am for being the wife and the mom that you are.

We are taking off to Seattle tomorrow morning for a 4-day work conference. I am taking my girls with me and we'll take some time there to formally introduce Lucia to our friends. I'll try to post some pictures from our trip to the Emerald City next time.

The Mexi-Afri-American princess

True globalization at its best. Out little Mexican-African-American princess made a splash on her first trip to Mexico last week. We now need to start planning the South African trip for 2012.
We spent 11 days in Mexico (4 in Mexico City and 7 in Cabo San Lucas) and all I can say is that it was not nearly enough time to spend with the family in such nice locations.

Our little Lucia got initiated in Mexican culture by getting her ears pierced and a pair of lovely earrings her abuelito bought for her. Among many cultural differences, earrings are certainly one that I hadn't thought about until recently. In Mexico, it is a service offered at the hospital when baby girls are born (almost like the circumcision for boys). When my parents came to visit us for the first time after Lucia was born, one of the first things they notices was that she didn't have her ears pierced. So, one this trip to Mexico we went to our good friend Pediatrician Dr. Guiza (my friend Juan Carlos' dad) and had her little ears pierced in an initiation into true Mexican culture.

August was definitely a busy month for the Fernandez family. Uncle Malcolm came to visit from Cape Town, Grandma Glenda came from Savannah, Georgia, we had Lucia's Adventist dedication at Tabernacle Church in Portland and we had Lucia's Catholic baptism in Mexico City.

Lots of things happened on our trip, but the most notable for us was Lucia's growth. The first night after we came back we notices she barely fits in her bassinet and she no longer fits in her plastic bathtub. Our little girl is now 4.5 months old, 24.5 inches long (up from 20 inches at birth) and 15 lbs (up from 8.8 at birth). She's definitely growing and getting more curious about the world every day. She seems to love music, especially when someone plays it live in front of her.

Baby laughs

You will agree with me that there are few things as contagious as a baby's laugh. I have no idea why but our brains are almost trained to start laughing or at least draw a smile on our face every time we hear a baby laugh. Well, when that baby is yours, there are even tears of joy.
I don't know if it is because Belinda and I had such a rough first three months with Lucia, but when we heard her laugh for the first time we both looked at each other and realized that this little person may actually like us! I'll try to record her laugh one of these days and I will post it here.

As I mentioned in a previous blog (dog years), these past few days have been like years in terms of the new development and new things she's discovered. The last time I stared at my feet for more than 10 seconds was:
a) definitely before my belly blocked the view, and
b) over 30 years ago

Our little Lucia just found out that those funny-looking things at the other end of her changing table are actually her feet and it feels nice to hold them (and taste them too). It is amazing to see these new 'discoveries' and how they change her life. I sometimes wonder what goes through her mind when she wakes up every morning. It may be something like "hmm, I wonder if those feet-things will be on my changing table this morning again... boy, where they fun to play with yesterday... I wonder how they will taste this morn......... taste? ....... hmmm....... speaking of taste, a little milk would be great about 2 instants ago..... whaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!"

Speaking of baby thoughts. Have you ever watched a baby sleep? They seem to have dreams. Lucia smiles and giggles through her sleep and sometimes she also cries for a few seconds. I sometimes don't give her enough credit as she is a person that is learning a ton from this world and she gets to re-live some of those experiences all over again in her dreams. I would tell you Belinda's baby-dream theory but I am too shy to do it here so you'll have to ask her one of these days when you see her.

We have a full house. Malcolm (Belinda's brother) arrived on Tuesday all the way from Cape town, South Africa. Glenda (Belinda's mom) arrived one day later. It is so nice to have family around. We forget how nice it is to have loved ones close to us so that we can enjoy a family trip on the weekend or even a family dinner every now and then. Belinda and I have grown in our marriage without any family around. On the one had it helps build a strong marriage as we rely on each other for everything, it has also given us the opportunity to make amazing friends who we consider our Oregon family. But it is also true that we miss our families. Having Lucia makes this even more obvious. I grew up surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents from both sides of the family. It makes me a little sad that Lucia will likely miss this experience. But oh well, we'll see what the future has in store for us.


For now, I must go downstairs and get some sleep. We're flying to Mexico on Thursday so I will probably update the blog when we get back by the end of August. Have a good night.

100 days

Can you tell me what you did 100 days ago?
I can. I experienced the best feeling anyone can ever have: becoming a dad.
I don't think I will be able to remember what I did 100 days ago many other days in my life, but today is certainly one of them.

In 100 days we have probably changed over 750 diapers, we have worried about not knowing how to be parents about 1,500 times, we have cried along Lucia about 2,000 times and we have sat in awe of her beauty and perfection about 3,000 times. It has been quite the ride, the best one of our lives.

Today we attended the birthday party of Isabella who turns 4. We saw a few kids that we met when they were probably Lucia's age and who are now around 4. It's crazy to think my sweet little Lucia will be that big one day and that day will come before I know it. I saw my good friend Alex climb and master the art of the Piñata with a smile on his face that only a dad could understand. I will be that "piñata dad" one day too.  [For my Mexican friends: Que no es lo mismo que ser un papá medio piñata, aunque igual y tambien me queda]

Out little Lucia is now giggling and we hear a faint laugh-ish sound every now and then when she's really excited. She seems to be enjoying life a lot more and we are taking it all in by enjoying life too.

I may sound repetitive, but I continue to be amazed and inspired every single day by Belinda's dedication and love. I have never in my life met anyone that slept more than Belinda. I can guarantee that in the past 100 days there has not been a single day that she's slept more than 6 hours straight. I would have gone nuts already but she instead responds by nurturing and loving Lucia regardless of how tired she may be.

Just this afternoon she told me how tired she was (and you could tell she was exhausted and about to shed a tear or two). Not even five minutes after she told me that, Lucia woke up from her infamous 10-minute naps and Belinda took over with the most loving care, ready to feed her and go over the routine all over again. Now that's true love and dedication.



 American presidents are usually judged by their first 100 days in office. Well, to the dearest president (more like Dictator) of our lives, Madame Lucia Grace Fernandez: You have done an outstanding job at bringing light to our lives and transforming our couple love into an amazing family love of three.

Today I pray and thank the Lord for the honor of being part of Lucia's first 100 days and for being able to share such an honor with the love of my life who is also the best mom in the world.

Dog years?

It's been one week since my girls came back from visiting Grandma in Savannah, GA. Apparently our little Lucia is quite the world traveler and did very well during all the flights. She pretty much slept the entire time. I am a bit afraid she was just teasing and she will show her true colors when daddy flies with them in less than a month when we go to Mexico City.

You know how the term 'dog years' is used to reference something that happens too quick but that in a dog's life may seem like an eternity? We should replace that term with "baby's days". Every since we found out we were pregnant people kept telling us (and to this day the most recurrent comment we get is) "enjoy every moment because they grow really fast". This past week has been a true example of what this means. Lucia started grabbing things. Not by accident but truly focusing, reaching out and holding onto whatever seems interesting to her little eyes. I know, you may say I am a super-biased dad that thinks his kid is the most amazing thing in this world. And you would be correct. However, as normal as this may be for all infants, it is remarkable to see the evolution of how the switch seems to turn on almost overnight. Seriously, her hands took a life of their own on Wednesday. It was the best birthday present she could have given to me.

Yes, Wednesday was my birthday in case you are one of the facebook-less endangered species and didn't know. Facebook makes me nostalgic on my birthday. What happened to the birthday cards and the phone calls? I got a ton of "HBD" on my wall. C'mon, spell it out, please? Nevertheless I am still happy that friends took the time to punch those three keys plus the enter key on my wall. It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.


Aaaanyway, going back to Lucia's amazing little achievements. I am in awe of how something that started as a little microscopic dot, that we saw for the first time when it measured less than 2 millimeters is now laughing and grabbing things. We would like to take credit for everything but to be honest sometimes Belinda and I wonder how resilient this little girl is that she has survived in spite of us. All we did, aside of the obvious, was feed her and change her diapers. We didn't teach her anything else. Yet she seems to be learning new things every single day. What an exciting life.

It makes me wonder why did my life had to get so boring. Why can't we continue learning new things every day and be amazed by it? I used to have a boss about 10 years ago who I ran into quite often at the elevator on my way home. He always asked me "what did you learn today?". Being the newest employee it always forced me to think during the day what would I tell Mr. Rose if I saw him in the elevator that evening? I was constantly on the look for something new I could learn and impress the boss. Silly? maybe, but it was a lot of fun.

As I finish writing I know I won't have to ask Lucia tomorrow what did she learn because she definitely will have discovered something new in her life. My new challenge will be to ask myself what did I learn at the end of each day. What made this day special and why am I a better person today than I was yesterday? We'll see how long this lasts.

Sorry about the rambling. It must be I turned 37 and I am getting closer to that middle-age crisis and Lucia seems to remind me how precious is our life and how much of it we take for granted every single day.

I promise to write more about her next week. For now I had to vent a little and take advantage that apparently there are a few you left who continue reading this blog. As of today there have been over 1,000 hits on it. I am humbled.

Good night.

Formulate this.

After 11 weeks of Belinda's outstanding efforts we decided to start supplementing our little milk-vacuum with the dreaded for-mu-la. It was a long and hard process but at the end we did what we think is best for Lucia and we are really happy about it. Most of you will probably have an opinion about this and after listening to advice from lots of friends and family we decided to give formula a try. After all Lucias is only feeding about 20% from formula, the rest is good ole' mommy's.

The funny thing is that formula is not really a formula but a bunch of different types of formulae (I feel like Ted Mosby saying "Encyclopaeida"). Walking down the formula isle at the grocery store made me realize how much trouble we were getting into. Organic? Wheat-free? Extra iron? how am I supposed to know? So we relied on Granny's advice and bought the organic, wheat-free hippie-friendly formula that Oregon groceries tend to carry. It worked like magic.

All of a sudden our little screaming machine stopped screaming and started enjoying life. As it turns out, we had been starving our poor little Lucia for the past 10 weeks. But fear no more my little chunky monkey, your parents found the only formula they have been able to decipher just for you (we are still working on the other formula of how to be good parents, when we discover it we'll patent it and we'll go live in our own private island!)

It may also be a coincidence that she's about to be 3 months old and that she finally turned the 'blind' corner I wrote about two weeks ago. In any event, Lucia has been the most calm, sweet and smiling baby for the past week or so.

As I write this, my two girls are all the way across the Country in Savannah, Georgia visiting Glenda, Gail and Sam (who's real name is Patrick and makes me want to change my name too and avoid spelling "J-A-V-I-E-R" every time I order at Starbucks! or better yet, stop being called "Harvey-err")

I knew I was going to miss them but I had no idea how much. It's been one day and the house feels lonely and quiet without them. Yes, I even miss the sporadic screaming and dirty diapers. I have to admit that sleeping more than 7 hours in a row is really nice and pretty much the only upside I see for me to this whole Savannah trip. In the meantime, I will take advantage that it is 10:30pm, the house is quiet and I can go to bed and plan to sleep for a lot longer than I have in the past 11 weeks.

Buenas noches.