Turning the (blind) corner

Pretty much everyone we know and every book we read mentioned the famous 3-month mark. Other people also mentioned the 6-week mark.

"It gets better after 3 months (or 6 weeks), we promise". And I completely agree. For us it has already gotten 1,000 better since those first 5 weeks of endless crying. Lucia has changed so much (it feels like she changes every single day) that we think she is about to turn the famous 3-month corner.

The problem: It's a blind corner and we have no idea of what's coming next. But ready or not, here we go!

As all parents can attest, every child is different and ours definitely is. We are thrilled about Lucia turning the 3-month corner but we (or at least I) are also a little nervous of what's coming next. All of a sudden she started smiling, cooing and interacting a lot more with us. I feel like she's starting to like us.

There's something special when before, it only took milk to calm her and now sometimes the sound of my voice and the feeling of my arms around her are enough to put her at ease.

Who knows, maybe we are also turning the 3-month mark as parents. Maybe Lucia is crying less and interacting more because of her natural development, but maybe, just maybe, we have helped a little bit and we have changed so much too that we have more patience to start enjoying the other side of this beautiful baby.

On the development front we went to the doctor last week for her first set of shots. Everything went as well as possible considering three vaccines were in the mix. The only issue was that Lucia hadn't gained weight at the same pace as she had done in the past. For the first month she was in the 60th percentile and this time she dropped down to the 24th. Unfortunately this put a halt to the somewhat comfortable feeding routine we had established and now we went back to worrying a little about having enough to feed her and we went back to operating the good ole' Alpenrose Dairy branch in our house: the dreaded pump. We'll see how this goes. The important thing is that Lucia is gaining weight, she's showing every sign of normal development and we are showing every sign of a tired zombie and immensely happy parent.

55 days

Sometimes I feel like I have known Lucia forever. She's now part of our lives and mostly, our entire lives revolve around her. But it's only been 55 days since we met her in person.

There's nothing else I can compare this to. Even with Belinda, when I first met her, I didn't see her every day and spent most of the time with her for the first 55 days. Even with Belinda, the love of my life, we eased-into the relation. Now I wish I could spend every day with her.

As I imagine happens to every new parent, we dove into falling in love with Lucia from the very first time she took a breath on this earth. We are madly in love with her. However, I have to confess it has been extremely intense and scary at times. Imagine you just met the person you think you will marry one day. You think you may end up living the rest of your life with him/her and you start testing (dating) how would it be to spend the rest of your lives together. This process usually takes a few months, or in Belinda and my case, 5 years.

It has only been 55 days after I saw Lucia's eyes for the first time. In these past few weeks I have seen her smile and cry for the first time and I have fallen in love time and again with her. I have been ready for quite some time to ask her to spend the rest of her life by our side. The good news is that she doesn't have much of a choice, so here I am, celebrating the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with Belinda and with my beautiful daughter.

I never cease to be inspired by Belinda's natural ability to love and care for other people. She's probably one of the people that values sleep more than anything in this world. In our pre-Lucia lives, she was known for sleeping in 12 or more hours on the weekends and take a nap after that to rest from all the sleep. Well, not anymore. The longest consecutive period she's been able to sleep for the past 55 days is 6 hours, and that has happened only twice. She's my hero because not only does she endure the lack of sleep, but she does it with a smile on her face and always taking care of our little Lucia. I guess that's what most moms do, but seeing my beautiful wife transform into a nurturing mom has been one of the highlights of my life.

So helpless...

These past few weeks have been the most intense and wonderful weeks of our lives. We are slowly learning how to take care of our little Lucia. Last year when we learned we were pregnant, we immediately ran to the bookstore and bought a ton of books on parenting, pregnancy, birth and even baby names. We were all set... or so we thought. No book, advice or course you ever take will prepare you enough for the first six weeks of taking care of a newborn. It's like riding a bicycle: people can tell you how to ride, you can learn all the basics, but until you try riding for a few times and feel when you're about to fall, you won't really learn. The good news is that once you learn, you never forget. I hope this is also true on caring for a newborn.

We have been blessed with the sweetest little angel that has turned our lives upside down. Every now and then after she's been crying for a long time, all she needs to do is give us a little smile like the one below, and we all of a sudden feel energized and ready to continue loving this little bullhorn... I mean bundle of joy.

I guess one of the biggest lessons I am learning is by looking at her and wondering how something so small and helpless can inspire such love from us. For the first few weeks she barely interacted with us. It was all about sleeping, crying, eating and pooping (sometimes all at once!). Looking at her so helpless and how she desperately needs us to survive made me realize that we are not any different in God's eyes. I'm pretty sure more than once He has looked at me and thought the same thing. We are as helpless as a newborn. We cry a lot (or at least constantly complain about our lives and how things could always be better) and we give very little, if anything, in return. We rarely interact with Him and I am sure He will continue loving us forever even if we never turn and smile to him, even once.

Anyway, this whole business of being a father is exhausting. But it is the most rewarding job I have ever had. Belinda never ceases to amaze me. She's just a natural at this. She's always been compassionate and caring and she's now even more so as a Mom. I can take breaks every now and then, I go to work and get distracted for a few hours every day but not her. She's always with Lucia and as physically tired as she sometimes is, she always has a positive attitude and the most beautiful smile to welcome me home. She's always been my hero and now more than ever I am in awe and eternally in debt to her.

Until next time,
Javier