So helpless...

These past few weeks have been the most intense and wonderful weeks of our lives. We are slowly learning how to take care of our little Lucia. Last year when we learned we were pregnant, we immediately ran to the bookstore and bought a ton of books on parenting, pregnancy, birth and even baby names. We were all set... or so we thought. No book, advice or course you ever take will prepare you enough for the first six weeks of taking care of a newborn. It's like riding a bicycle: people can tell you how to ride, you can learn all the basics, but until you try riding for a few times and feel when you're about to fall, you won't really learn. The good news is that once you learn, you never forget. I hope this is also true on caring for a newborn.

We have been blessed with the sweetest little angel that has turned our lives upside down. Every now and then after she's been crying for a long time, all she needs to do is give us a little smile like the one below, and we all of a sudden feel energized and ready to continue loving this little bullhorn... I mean bundle of joy.

I guess one of the biggest lessons I am learning is by looking at her and wondering how something so small and helpless can inspire such love from us. For the first few weeks she barely interacted with us. It was all about sleeping, crying, eating and pooping (sometimes all at once!). Looking at her so helpless and how she desperately needs us to survive made me realize that we are not any different in God's eyes. I'm pretty sure more than once He has looked at me and thought the same thing. We are as helpless as a newborn. We cry a lot (or at least constantly complain about our lives and how things could always be better) and we give very little, if anything, in return. We rarely interact with Him and I am sure He will continue loving us forever even if we never turn and smile to him, even once.

Anyway, this whole business of being a father is exhausting. But it is the most rewarding job I have ever had. Belinda never ceases to amaze me. She's just a natural at this. She's always been compassionate and caring and she's now even more so as a Mom. I can take breaks every now and then, I go to work and get distracted for a few hours every day but not her. She's always with Lucia and as physically tired as she sometimes is, she always has a positive attitude and the most beautiful smile to welcome me home. She's always been my hero and now more than ever I am in awe and eternally in debt to her.

Until next time,
Javier